María Zardoya, of the Marías, chooses to relive her breakup every night (2024)

The chanting crowd’s “otra” wanes as a singular spotlight illuminates María Zardoya. The Marías’ frontwoman lies in a translucent bathtub, microphone in hand and partially submerged in its warm water. The somber piano of “If Only,” a ballad off their sophom*ore album, “Submarine,” fills the entire Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Zardoya’s voice takes on a melancholic, siren-like quality, while a trumpet adds a noir jazz accent to the eerie display.

As the song’s final notes linger, the 29-year-old singer retreats into the portable body of water, sinking her head well below its surface. Muffling out her surroundings, she says she’s taken back to the exact moments of heartbreak that inspired the L.A.-based band’s latest project, “Submarine,” released in May. The record is an unambiguous look into the romantic breakup between the group’s founders, singer and lyricist Zardoya and Josh Conway, drummer and producer.

Prior to creating the aquatic ethos of “Submarine,” the band was uncertain if they could make it past such a drastic change in dynamics. But with a dedication to vulnerability and their craft, the foursome — Zardoya, Conway, guitarist Jesse Perlman and keyboardist Edward James — were able to overcome this shift and create one of the summer’s most notorious breakup albums.

The Marías, formed in 2016, found their niche in alternative music early in their career. The experimental indie track “Only in My Dreams” and the bilingual, requited love anthem “Cariño” cemented their reputation as up-and-comers.

(Ringo Chiu / For De Los)

Ahead of the Submarine tour’s second L.A. show, I met the Puerto Rican-born singer backstage, in a shaded tent. Small in stature, she wears a floor-length dress with a large floral detail at its center. As she drinks out of an official Marías water bottle that reads “María’s Bathwater” — a layered joke shared between the group and their fan base — she recalls the exact moment she felt the group had passed the breakup test. It was during their show at New York’s Radio City Music Hall, a few weeks prior. The stage setup allowed the singer to go up onto a platform, where she could perform from a new vantage point.

“I had never seen that perspective of the stage before because I’m usually on it. I could see the guys below and I got super emotional and started crying a little bit. I was like, ‘Boys, like, we did it,’” said Zardoya. “It was such a beautiful moment because we overcame so much together and it feels like a family now. We’re stronger than ever.”

But this unified feeling among the band didn’t happen overnight.

The Marías, formed in 2016, found their niche in alternative music early in their career. The experimental indie track “Only in My Dreams” and the bilingual, requited love anthem “Cariño” cemented their reputation as up-and-comers. Ever since the beginning, the group has relied on a certain kind of duality to set them apart. As Zardoya pens her lyrics in both English and Spanish, Conway was quick to incorporate Latin influences to create a more accurate representation of who they are sonically — putting a unique spin on what could’ve been cookie-cutter indie music.

“I introduced him to so much Latin music. From just being around my family, the music and the culture, he picked up on things pretty quickly,” Zardoya said. “He knew that it was important for me to showcase this part of who I am. So when he started making this mix of reggaeton and indie psychedelic, things got really interesting.”

They continued to carve their path in the alternative space with their Grammy-nominated debut album, “Cinema,” in 2021. Their mesmerizing infusion of soulful rock, dreamy pop and Latin rhythms has stayed consistent, yet still inventive over the band’s nine years together. They have even collaborated with fellow Latin musicians Bad Bunny, Young Miko and Tainy.

The sold-out crowd at Hollywood Forever Cemetery last week sings along with the Marías.

(Ringo Chiu / For De Los)

“We’ve been listening to the Marías since we were young kids in junior high, and integrating Spanish into their genre means a lot to us,” said Andres Garcia, a longtime fan who attended the L.A. show. “I love how the Marías have still been able to stick to the indie genre while still being who they are. It’s something that I notice a lot of Latino indie artists are doing now.”

During the Hollywood performance, Zardoya called out for her “Latino family” and started to list various Latin American countries to see who was represented. The lead singer says she is thankful to share the “experience of being Latin in the U.S.” with her fans. Each night on the Submarine tour, Zardoya makes a point to walk through the crowd while singing. As people push and shove to get a glimpse of the lace-cladden vocalist, she is reminded that performing “makes all the moments of heartbreak [behind ‘Submarine’] worth it.”

“Submarine” is deeply rooted in the idea of tragic love. No matter how upbeat or funky, the tracks may sound — all its lyrics come back to a life-altering heartbreak. “Love You Anyway,” a psychedelic rock-infused track, is centered around the lyrics, “I know that you’ve always been in love with me / But I know that you’ve also had to watch me leave” — directly referencing that the two will always be in love, but have to accept not being together. The dreamy yet heart-wrenching “Sienna” transports listeners to another timeline where things work out between Zardoya and Conway, and they have a child named Sienna who “would’ve been cute” and “would look just like you.”

Zardoya says writing the album was one of the most humbling experiences. After the seven-year relationship, she says she was forced to look at life differently. During those challenging moments of growth, she turned to Buddhism.

“What’s changed the most with me is the beauty of embracing the present moment. Nothing lasts forever. The only thing that exists is right here, right now,” Zardoya says. “That’s helped me, even on tour, in the sense of just taking it one thing at a time and not seeing the big picture.”

María Zardoya takes center stage at the Marías’ second L.A. performance.

(Ringo Chiu / For De Los)

After focusing so much emotional labor into “Submarine,” Zardoya was under the impression that sharing it with the world might help her move on. But after performing its personal contents on tour, she finds herself “reliving a trauma” night after night.

“It kind of depends on the night. Some nights I’m like, f— this. I’m tired of dreaming about this. I’m tired of thinking about this. I don’t wanna keep reliving this drama,” Zardoya said. “Then other times I’m like, ‘Thank God I went through it.’ It humbled me as a person. It made me more thankful for life and more tolerant of difficult experiences.”

Walking a fine line between emotional exhaustion and being gracious, she’s accepted that the aftermath of her breakup will be longer than the typical person who isn’t in a band with their ex-boyfriend. As she retells the highs and lows of the relationship through the nightly set list, she’s faced with a decision.

“I want to emit the emotion of these songs. And in order to get there, I have to reexperience what the song is about. It’s a choice,” says Zardoya. “I could choose to just sing the song and work on moving on from the situation. But I want to feel everything and I want the fans to feel it. Because what’s the point if you’re not?”

With only a few more stops in the U.S., the Marías will take the Submarine tour to Europe in late October. But the band still has plans for “Submarine,” Zardoya reveals that they will release a follow-up EP to the album. Some of the EP’s songs were written alongside the album while others were written after its release, but still belong to the same world.

“I’d say you’re still feeling like you’re underwater, but even more solitude,” says Zardoya. “There’s no bangers. They’re all, like, ‘crying in the club’ songs.”

As the last notes of “Cariño,” the final song in their set, ring out, Zardoya makes a dash toward the end of the stage. She jumps headfirst into the sea of overjoyed fans, with the intention of crowd surfing. The front section of the venue raises their hands high, in preparation to catch the singer. As the rest of the band continues to play, she is passed through the condensed audience — with a smile that can be seen from the crowd’s edges. Instead of the typical breakup comforts, like watching cheesy rom-coms or having a girl’s night out, Zardoya finds her greatest comfort in the hands of her listeners.